"I do not think that word means what you think it means." - The Princess Bride
While I feel I should start the blog off with an uproarious example of failing upwards, I feel compelled to do the opposite and begin with the Inconceivable Feature. Named after the great line in The Princess Bride where Inigo Montoya tells the great criminal Vizzini that he doesn't think the word he's using means what he thinks it does (since everything he says is inconceivable keeps happening) this feature is dedicated to all of those who routinely misuse and mangle the words we hold so dear.
I have a colleague. We'll call him Tom. I suspect that, in time, Tom will become a Failing Upwards star for his continued slaughter of the English language. There is not a time when he is speaking that he is not saying "um, like, you know, um, like, you know" - all together like that and couching every single sentence. One of my personal Tom favorites, however, is his constant use of "In any cases". You know!
In any cases, the shipment won't be here by Thursday like we'd hoped.
In any cases, I'm allergic to peanuts anyway.
In any cases, I hate proper english.
No matter how many times people have attempted to use the singular phrase correctly with him, he continues to make "case" plural. Even more? Tom fancies himself rather a brainiac, gifted with an extensive vocabulary, which only serves to heighten the hilarity.
Who's your Tom (or Toms, goodness knows there are more!) and what words are they slaughtering?
Local News
7 months ago
Oh my, oh my. I am so glad you decided to do this blog. Although I know multiple people in my place of employ who slaughter English with incredible panache, the very FIRST thing that I've been wanting to complain about for the last year is this: This person I used to work with- let's call her Jane- insists (INSISTS) that Catholics are not... wait for it... Christians. That's right. I replied incredulously that of course they are- they believe that CHRIST is divine, came to save the everyone from their sins, etc etc etc. But no. There are Christians (presumably those of the Protestant nature) and then are are Catholics. "So what are they?" I ask. "They're Catholics", she relies angrily. This is a person who has been promoted this year to a head teacher position. This person is teaching our youth. Help.
ReplyDelete